- Rebel against authority. Normally, you ask your child to obey authority and to obey the rules. To obey you, teachers, coaches, and the police. But what kind of message are you sending when you, yourself, don’t? Calling in sick to work – when you’re not sick. Buying a movie ticket and sliding into a new one that you didn’t pay for. Or, when the phone rings, whispering to your child, Tell them I’m not here.
- Making work a higher priority than family. I admit, there are seasons where you have to work longer hours. But if you regularly work late and miss out on family time or your kid’s games – you may be sending a message that work is more important than they are.
- Discipline in anger. When you yell at a child, you can look borderline psychotic and you actually discredit the point you’re trying to make. When you’re right – you don’t need to yell.
- Let someone else teach them their values. Do not let their values be taught by Nickelodeon, YouTube, or Fortnite. I would go so far to say not even their Sunday School teacher or pastor. That’s your job. You teach them.
- Say one thing but do another. It’s not how you act at church that sends the message and makes the impact. It’s how you act at home. The fact is that we are all hypocrites (to some extent). Because we all try to do one thing but inevitably, at times, do the other. But there must be actions that match what we say we believe.
- Substitute “toys” for time. If you buy your child the newest iPad – they will gladly take it. Or, if you buy them new shoes, or a game, or…stuff – they’ll take it. But what they really want more than stuff – is your time.
- Give NO responsibilities. Kids need chores, expectations, responsibilities – appropriate to their age. If you do everything for them, they will grow up as adults who can’t take responsibility for things that are important. Kids even need a ministry.
- Inconsistent in discipline. Kids can handle fences (boundaries). In fact, they want them and they need them. They’ll complain about them from time-to-time but they want them. The can handle fences, what they can’t handle is you constantly moving them. If yesterday they got in trouble for watching that show, but today it’s okay, but tomorrow they get in trouble again – your child becomes confused at what’s allowed and what’s not.
- Divorce. The greatest gift you can give your child is to love your spouse. Divorce is very difficult for everyone – especially the children. Mom and Dad must keep their promises.
- Don’t model Jesus. By far, the greatest spiritual impact you will have on your child will come when they see you live a life that models Jesus. Will they see perfection? Absolutely not. But they’re not looking for your perfection as much as your direction. That direction must point to Christ.
Parenting well is a hard job. Really hard. But it is the most rewarding one we have the privilege of doing…in His grip.
Coach's tip – To say, God, I absolutely cannot do this without Your help, is exactly what He was waiting for you to say.
Happy Birthday to Wimbia Castle, Cynde Allen, Jonathan Hunter, Sweetlin Manoharan, Gregory Holmes, Orrin Newman, Kira Schartner, Reagan Clough, Joy Galindo, Coline Harriott, Kai Allen, Hugo Mouna, Nicole Edwards, Yvonne Ricketts, Jay Mentor, Carol Lee Barker, Laure Bateman and Peggy Lafuente …I prayed for you today.
I'd be honored to pray for you on your birthday - please send me your birthday (if you haven't already).
Happy 32nd Wedding Anniversary to John & Kina Jackson and Happy Wedding Anniversary to Rod & Felicia Hughes …I prayed for your marriage today.
I'd be honored to pray for you on your anniversary - please send me your anniversary date and the year you were married (if you haven't already).
Wits End – What’s Going Into Your Head?